The journey of self-discovery is like stepping into a vast, unexplored territory within ourselves. It’s diving into a hero’s journey, where we encounter hidden treasures and formidable challenges along the way.
As I journeyed deeper I constantly unearthed fragments of myself cloaked in trauma and negativity, shoved into the shadows of my subconscious. These wounded aspects were suppressed, shunned and neglected.
But I knew I had to summon the courage to confront these disowned parts of myself. It was part of my Soul’s journey to bring them out from the depths of darkness into the radiant light of my higher consciousness, where they could be met with love, compassion and acceptance.
And one of the most intriguing discoveries on my inner journey was the concept of the emotional pain-body, as described by Eckhart Tolle in his book the Power of Now.
What is the pain-body?
This accumulated pain is a negative energy field that occupies your body and mind. If you look on it as an invisible entity in its own right, you are getting quite close to the truth. It’s the emotional pain-body.
Essentially, the pain-body is a psychological phenomenon that consists of accumulated emotional pain, trauma, and negative energy stored within an individual’s psyche.
Tolle suggests that the pain-body operates as a semi-autonomous entity within us, influencing our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It thrives on unconscious identification and feeds on negative emotions such as fear, anger, and sadness.
Tolle emphasises the importance of becoming aware of the pain-body’s existence and learning to dis-identify from it through present moment awareness, thus reducing its influence over our lives.
Imagine it as a mysterious force that lurks within us, made up of all the past hurts, fears, and negative experiences we’ve accumulated over time. It’s a shadowy entity, a manifestation of the ego’s fears and insecurities. Its survival hinges on our unconscious identification with it and it doesn’t like to be looked at.
The pain-body wants to survive, just like every other entity in existence, and it can only survive if it gets you to unconsciously identify with it. It can then rise up, take you over, 'become you,' and live through you.
This invisible force, the pain-body, when triggered, was like a dormant volcano awakening inside me, unleashing an emotional reaction that engulfed me and that I couldn’t understand or control. It was almost involuntary.
But the real breakthrough came when I started to understand how to deal with it. Through the wisdom of Eckhart Tolle I learned that the key to overcoming the pain-body lies in awareness and presence. Instead of getting swept away by my emotions, I learned to observe them from a place of inner stillness, like watching clouds pass in the sky.
It wasn’t easy, of course. There were moments when I felt like I was wrestling with a powerful opponent, trying to break free from its grip. But with each step I took towards self-awareness and non-identification with it, I felt a sense of liberation, as if I was reclaiming control from the hidden aspects of myself.
While I was delving into awareness of the pain-body, aspects of it appeared in myriad forms in dreams, vivid, surreal, and often unsettling. In one particularly memorable dream, I came face to face with my pain-body, disguised as a shadowy gang-land figure in a darkened room. I was summoned in front of him and could feel the fear and respect for this powerful authority figure. I was trained to do his bidding, carry out his orders. In this dream, he gave me an order and I suddenly found myself doubting his request, and found myself challenging him and doubting and questioning what he was asking.
And in that moment of challenging him, the blinds went up in the room letting in blindingly bright sunshine. In that moment the illusion of this powerful figure shattered, revealing what was in fact a small and insignificant figure, who got up and scuttled across the room, cowering and wanting to hide in the shadows.
These types of dreams always manifested as a potent reminder of the transformative power of inner work, of the courage needed to shine a light of our higher awareness into the darkest recesses of our being.
It’s only by confronting our shadows with love and compassion, that we can truly embrace the light, forging a path towards healing and wholeness amidst the unconscious workings of our inner landscape.
